Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
