this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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