gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
