I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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