is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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