Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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