walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize