What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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