Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
