I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
