it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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