So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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