Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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