it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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