I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
