she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
