I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
