I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
