She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
