I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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