yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
