at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
