You made me cry and you don't even care
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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