Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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