I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
thus making me awesome and them whores
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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