It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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