we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
