Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
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vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
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this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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