Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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