I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
