Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
