You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
