Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is my gift to your gina
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
