Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
