wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
