It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
