SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize