well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
