new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He has the fingertips of a God
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