she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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