Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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