Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Randomize
