we were pretty classy up until the second keg
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
