i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
