i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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