Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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