i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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