wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
