hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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