She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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