I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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