totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
