I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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