Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
