I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
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Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
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Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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