Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
