my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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