just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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