Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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